Expressing Gratitude for What We Have Lost

Losses are an unfortunate but unavoidable part of life. Expressing gratitude for what we have lost can be very difficult, especially if the loss is extremely painful or too recent. The fact remains that good things come out of our losses, even if we're not yet able to see them.

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death, and today I honour his life and the love I still feel for him by focusing on the blessings with unrestrained gratitude. I am grateful for the time I shared with him, all of my memories of him, and the deep love he inspired in me! I am grateful for the life lessons I learned with him, and I am also grateful for the positive changes his tragic death caused in me. Losing him was so painful and I still miss him everyday. His death changed me forever, but most of those changes were very positive and have enabled me to get even more enjoyment out of my own life. His life was a precious gift to me, and I am in no way grateful that he is gone, but I am grateful for all the good things that came out of his life and even his death.

I ask you to contemplate the losses that have deeply impacted your life, but to look for the good things that came out of your experience (before the loss as well as afterward). If your loss is too recent, you might not be able to do this--that's okay because you need to grieve and take time to heal, but try to keep this idea in your heart and mind for later, when you have healed some more. Expressing gratitude for what we have lost doesn't mean we're glad to have lost it, just that we're able to see and appreciate the good that comes from even our most painful experiences. God is always working in our lives to make us stronger, healthier and happier.

Today tell Him, "Thanks for all the things you've done for me, even the ones that hurt me so much I thought I couldn't go on, and the ones that made me so mad at you because I wasn't able to understand your ways at the time. Thank you for helping me through those difficult times and ones I will face in the future. Thank you for loving me so much, and thank you for all the blessings you have and will continue to send my way, even the ones that really don't feel like blessings at the time!"

~*~Monica Who~*~

Desperate to Hold Onto You

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

Desperation is not one of the hallmarks of love, and feelings of desperation are a clear sign that your relationship is unhealthy, dysfunctional, and definitely toxic. If you, someone you care about, or someone you're romantically involved with is feeling or exhibiting signs of desperation, listen up!

You are responsible for your own happiness in life. This statement is absolutely true and it should be empowering. A relationship with another person cannot be your sole reason for living. If you find yourself feeling this way, you need to STOP and re-examine your life. Don't waste another minute pinning all your hopes and aspirations on another frail and fallible human being. You absolutely must find gratitude and joy in the world around you, and if you are unable to do this, you need to seek professional help--for your own good and for the sake of everyone you care about.

Depression is a monster and it can come into your life as the result of loneliness, disappointment, real or perceived failures, and many other painful experiences. Everyone has felt depression--to some degree--at some point in their life, so there is no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed about seeking help for your depression. Depression can be the result of a chemical imbalance that is easily treatable, and it can be the result of deeply rooted psychological issues that can also be treated and healed through counseling and also spiritual support. Whatever the cause of the depression, you deserve healing!

It is not uncommon for a person to reach a point where they feel their romantic relationship is not working--for whatever reason--and they want to break it off but the person they're involved with threatens to commit suicide if they break up. This very situation happened to me many years ago when I told a boyfriend that it was time for both of us to move on from the relationship. He threatened to commit suicide, and he knew he could expect a strong reaction from me because this happened only a few months after my brother had tragically ended his own life. I certainly did react strongly, but it was not my loving and compassionate nature that came out at that moment! I was absolutely furious that he would attempt to manipulate and control me in such a way. I also found it incredibly disrespectful that he would try to use my intense grief and feelings of guilt regarding my brother's death to get what he wanted. So I called his bluff and told him to go ahead and do it, right then and there while I watched (of course he didn't).

To be perfectly honest, I didn't handle it the best way I could have! I reacted from a place of hurt and anger, and I know now that there were better ways to deal with this type of situation. However, if a person threatens to hurt themselves because you want to break off the relationship, it is a deliberate and inherently cruel attempt at manipulation and control. They want to play on your compassion and concern as a means of holding onto you, and to create fear and an unreasonable sense of responsibility for their life. The other person may be emotionally immature as a result of youth and inexperience (as was the case with my former boyfriend) but it still doesn't give them a right to control you. If you stay in the relationship out of guilt and fear, the relationship cannot be fulfilling to either one of you; it will still reach its inevitable end, and the resulting emotional trauma to both of you could be far more severe than if you break up now.

In most of these situations, the other person is bluffing and has no intention of doing anything to hurt themselves. The chances are you do still care what happens to them--you've just reached a point where you know the romantic relationship cannot continue. The best thing you can do is tell the other person that you do care but you cannot take on that type of responsibility. Give them the telephone number for a 24 hour crisis intervention hot-line, the address and number for a clinic that offers free crisis counseling, or other resources that can help them. Urge them to seek help for their depression so they can get the most out of life! This is the best thing you can do for them, whether they're bluffing or suffering from depression. If the other person is truly depressed, you most likely do not have the ability to heal them, and you cannot afford the expense to your own well being if you attempt to.

If you find yourself feeling desperate to hold onto a romantic relationship, you need to stop and ask yourself why! Perhaps you are not so desperate that you would threaten or even attempt to hurt yourself, but any sense of desperation is a warning sign that something is profoundly wrong in the relationship itself and possibly in your spirit and psyche. You don't want to go through life relying on another human being for happiness and the will to live--you want and deserve to feel joy from even the tiniest miracles life has to offer! You might be suffering from a chemical imbalance, or you might even be involved in a relationship that has become so toxic that you can't even enjoy the rest of the world around you! No matter who you are or what has happened in your life, you don't deserve to feel so afraid of loss and rejection. If you can't pull yourself out of this emotional turmoil, ask for help from your doctor, your loved ones and even God and your angels. You're not alone and you're worth so much more than this!

~*~Monica Who~*~

Dream Themes & Symbols: Houses

Houses are a very common dream theme that most often represents the self, but houses in dreams can also convey messages regarding material and financial stability, security and basic needs, personal values, or the condition of family and home life. To understand the meaning of a house in a dream, it's important to consider the other dream elements surrounding this symbol such as what is happening in or around the house, what rooms are involved in the dream, etc.

The upstairs of a house tends to refer to intellect and spirituality, while basements tend to refer to the subconscious. A bedroom often refers to parts of the self that you keep private, and can also convey messages about sexuality or intimate relationships. The livingroom of a can be about the way you present yourself to others, socializing with people you allow into your private life, or your basic beliefs regarding home and family life. The kitchen can represent spiritual and emotional nourishment or can convey messages connected with mothers/motherhood and nurturing. A bathroom conveys messages about your private or hidden self, and because water is a significant aspect of a bathroom, it often refers to emotions and spirituality (generally of a private nature). For example, a bathtub or shower can represent spiritual and emotional cleansing while the toilet often conveys messages about emotional release, believe it or not! Attics tend to express old memories, the past, or intellect and spirituality (the same as upstairs). Closets represent hidden or repressed emotions and memories, and can convey messages about holding onto things which are unnecessary. Corridors can convey messages about the way you go about things or your personal progress, and secret passages often mean finding new or exciting methods, opportunities or perspectives that usually make life easier for you. Stairs are a very significant message as well, representing growth and opportunities. Going up stairs is a message about your spiritual and emotional journey, achieving a higher level of understanding, etc and going down stairs is often about exploring the subconscious. Falling down stairs is typically a message about unconscious fears or obstacles preventing you from emotional or spiritual progress. Floors represent emotional or spiritual foundations, or the division between the conscious and unconscious mind. Ceilings and roofs can represent the connection between intellect and spirituality, the higher self, security and protection, or even barriers or obstacles regarding spiritual development or connection with your higher self (it all depends on the way the ceiling or roof is perceived or what is happening regarding this symbol). Windows tend to refer to perspectives on the world or your self--if you are looking out the window it would usually represent your perspectives on your life and events around you, while looking in a window is a message about introspection, soul searching, your beliefs or perspectives regarding yourself, or self discovery.

A glass house is a very complex message with many possible meanings. It can represent that you feel uncomfortably exposed or that your personal boundaries (your walls) are too fragile. It can also mean you feel no need to hide or keep parts of yourself private from others, or that you need or feel inspired to share parts of yourself or your life with others. Your emotional reaction to the glass house will be the key to understanding the message it conveys.

As with all dream symbols, there is never just one meaning or one interpretation that is always true! It's important to examine what is happening in the dream regarding that symbol, your emotional reactions or perceptions of the symbol, and any connection to your waking life that is relevant.

A client told me about a dream she had regarding the renovation of a friend's house. One part of the house was old, in a general state of disrepair, and was infested by rats. The newly renovated part of the house was clean and luxurious. Her dream conveyed messages about the financial stability (particularly improvements) of the person her dream was about. The rats represented financial fears and small, pesky problems (again of a financial nature) that would be easily overcome. In her dream, the angels were conveying an overall message that her friend would experience improvements and success in his financial life as long as he kept working at it.

Another client told me of a dream she had regarding buying a house. Her dream also included a journey by train to her new house, which was significant in the overall message. I will share her dream and the interpretation of the symbols as an example of how dream symbols interact and come together to express messages from the angels.

Last night I dreamed about buying a house. It was a small but comfortable house, although it didn't look very pleasing from the outside. I also paid attention to the fact that there was no fence around the yard, though this didn't make me feel insecure. Inside it was cozy, with a spacious and practical kitchen and pleasing decorative features. The master suite was located on the second floor and seemed to be the only thing on the second floor, and there were several luxuries upstairs. In addition, there were many belongings inside the house, which I found particularly intriguing. These things were a large collection of decorative bottles or glass containers, which seemed excessive in their numbers and were placed nearly everywhere, especially on the main floor. Also there were a great deal of house plants, all in great need of TLC due to being neglected. In the dream I watered all the plants and they seemed to thrive with just a little bit of attention. Other details that might be important are the price of the house was shockingly low and the seller kept hinting that the price he ultimately wanted to agree on was even lower than the listed price. Travel to the new home involved a somewhat uncomfortable train ride (mainly because the toilet was clogged and I couldn't use it), but there was a lot of nearly decadent food available for free on the journey. I had the strong sense I could take any of the food I wanted, without restriction or concern for diet.

To better understand this dream, it's important to take into account that the dreamer is presently working hard to build a new life in a new location. She has a great deal of emotion, as well as finances, invested in this endeavour, and recent set backs have caused her some intense depression despite her nearly relentless optimism. In addition, the changes she's making in her life were inspired by earlier guidance she received from her angels.

Buying the house is a message from her angels that she will succeed in her endeavours: she will be able to enjoy a comfortable life in her new location and the emotional and spiritual cost (represented by the price of the house in the dream) will be less than she expects. The train ride to the new house represents her personal journey. It will be a relatively smooth journey (as train rides often are), but repressed emotions (the problem with the toilet) will make it a bit uncomfortable for her. The food available on the journey represents the help and nourishment available to her from her angels: it's abundant and absolutely free, she can take as much as she needs without any fears. In her dream the house doesn't have a fence around it and she feels fine about that, which is a message that there will be no significant barriers to achieving her goals of a new life, and no restrictions on her self. The exterior of the house is the way she presents her self or her new life to others: because the exterior is "not very pleasing" it means she will not be prone to bragging about financial or material comforts and may even falsely represent her financial status as being less than it truly is, not as a means of deceiving others, but by being extremely modest. The interior of the house is very pleasing to her, which means she will be satisfied with her new life and there will be things she really enjoys, small touches she didn't expect but definitely notices! She paid particular attention to the kitchen and the upstairs master bedroom, and I feel this means her new life will provide a great deal of spiritual and emotional nourishment and her private and romantic life will be particularly fulfilling. She mentioned "luxuries" in the bedroom, which takes up the entire upper level of the house and this means she will be particularly satisfied and delighted in her emotional and spiritual experiences, and will most likely find a romantic relationship that far exceeds her expectations. I feel the decorative bottles represent blessings she will receive in her new life, which are very abundant! She referred to them as decorative, which leads me to believe most of her blessings will be of an emotional nature; although bottles do have a practical use and she is likely to experience financial prosperity as well, she will place the greatest significance on the emotional and spiritual blessings. The house plants represent her spirit, which is currently neglected and wounded (her depression), but with a little nourishment and care she will experience miraculous healing and be able to continue her emotional and spiritual growth. Her angels are telling her she will succeed in her endeavours, that they are ready and willing to help her along her journey, and that she will experience healing, joy, and blessings that she didn't even expect!

Think about the dreams you've had involving houses. What are the angels trying to tell you about your self, your financial stability, or your family and home life?

~*~Monica Who~*~

Cleansing Your Aura

You are a spirit living inside a physical body, and your aura is a subtle, luminous energy field within and around your body that can range up to three to seven feet from your body. When you get a feeling of someone standing too close and invading your "space," this is actually another person's aura interacting with your own auric field and producing an uncomfortable reaction or impression. We are all born with a pure aura, but over time the aura can become "cloudy" from negative energy left over from trauma, illness, drug or alcohol abuse, toxic emotions and imbalances in your chakras. A clear aura attracts positive energy and allows the flow of abundance and blessings in your life, but a clouded or disrupted aura attracts only negative energy, conflict, struggle and loss.

An aura is typically only visible to those who are born with or develop the skill to see it, but every living person, animal, and plant has an aura. When the aura is perceived, the aura contains various colours reflecting the spiritual energy, emotions, thoughts, and even physical health of the person, plant or creature. Sometimes the part of the aura surrounding the head creates a halo effect, especially around awakened souls, saints and enlightened beings.

Signs and symptoms of a disrupted or cloudy aura in need of cleansing include fatigue, lack of vitality, energy or enthusiasm for life, negative or distorted thoughts, negative or intense emotions, feeling disconnected from your self, your emotions, your mind, other people, nature, or God (or other higher spiritual forces), sudden mood swings, panic attacks and intense anxiety, unexplained physical pain or discomfort not caused by an illness or injury to the body, and sleep disturbances*.

When your aura has come into contact with an incompatible aura, or has been bombarded with negative energy, you will want to cleanse your aura to release negativity and restore harmony. Cleanse your aura by showering or dancing in the rain, soaking in an epsom salt bath, smudging with sage (waving the sage smoke through your entire aura), meditation, or deep cleansing breaths. You may find it helpful to use meditation music or keep background sound to a bare minimum, and perform your aura cleansing in a dimly lit environment. Clear your mind and visualize negativity floating away from you with every breath you exhale. It might also help to visualize a beam of white light channeled down through your Crown chakra at the top of your head, with pure white energy moving throughout your entire body. Essential oils, holy water, and tobacco smoke (used for smudging, not inhaling) are other substances that can help cleanse the aura and release negative energies.

Another method for cleansing your aura is called "smoothing" and involves running your hands over your auric field, gently smoothing it out from above your head to the ground at your feet; power stones are beneficial for "smoothing" sessions--but take care if you're not accustomed to working with power stones because you could cause further disruption to your aura with particularly strong stones.

Keep your aura healthy with physical exercise, healthy diet and plenty of water, balanced and consistent sleep routine, breathing exercises, singing or chanting, connecting with nature, prayer and meditation, listening to music that makes you feel happy (raising the vibrations in your aura), and healing with colour therapy. Colour therapy involves visualizing a specific colour while meditating; green is a healing and calming colour and can be used effectively for clearing the aura and promoting good spiritual health.


*These symptoms are not exclusive to problems with your aura. If you experience these symptoms, please see a medical doctor in addition to clearing your aura. Clearing your aura unnecessarily will not harm you, but ignoring symptoms that might be related to a serious medical condition could be very dangerous.

~*~Monica Who~*~