Ending Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is any relationship--romantic, friendship, etc--that has become so unbalanced that your interactions with that person leave you with negative, harmful emotions more often than not. Most of the time, relationships do not start out toxic--they tend to start out balanced and healthy, and your interactions with that person leave you feeling very positive. As a result, you invest more of yourself in the relationship and usually you begin to expect more from it. If the other person does not invest more of themself in the relationship or have the same expectations that you do, the relationship becomes unbalanced and interactions with that person leave you feeling hurt, angry, and frustrated. Ending a toxic relationship often seems as difficult as being in one because you have invested so much of yourself into the relationship.

Knowing when and how to end the relationship can be very challenging, and we often know it needs to end long before we're ready to actually end it. I believe that the right time to end a toxic relationship is the precise moment you feel ready to end it. If you try to end it before you're actually ready to, you will probably give more of your personal power to the other person and you're likely to waver in your determination and fall back into the relationship, making it even more unbalanced than it was before you tried to pull yourself out of it!

If you're in a position of blaming the other person for the problems in the relationship, you're giving them too much of your power. Sure, the other person has probably done a lot of things that have hurt you deeply, but you make the choice to invest yourself in the relationship and to allow yourself to be hurt. I don't mean that to sound harsh; I want you to be empowered by recognizing your role in the relationship and that your choices impact your experiences in the relationship and in your life. You have the power to make different choices! You cannot change another person, no matter how much you may want to, but you can change your choices, your actions and your reactions.

When you reach the point where you realize that the relationship you invested so much of yourself into has become toxic and cannot offer you good and healthy experiences, and you no longer blame anyone for it, you are truly ready to end the relationship. The likelihood is that you're also in a healthy enough frame of mind to be able to end the relationship in a healthy way: respecting yourself and the other person (even if some of the things they have done were very disrespectful to you). Please keep in mind that a romantic relationship which became toxic would probably be a toxic friendship as well, if you wanted to try to stay friends with the other person. It is often best to make a clean and total break from the other person.

If you dwell on the negative and hurtful experiences of the relationship, you're still in the toxic relationship even if you're not interacting with the other person, and you're still giving away your personal power. When you have empowered yourself and pulled out of a toxic relationship, try to focus on the positive things that you gained from it: the good memories and the lessons you've learned that will help you have healthier relationships in the future!

~*~Monica Who~*~

Negative Self Talk

We are often our own worst critics, but negative self talk is more than just a bad habit. Not only can negative self talk bring down your mood and severely impact your self esteem and confidence, it can also impact your spiritual development and attract negativity in your life. What we focus on is what we attract or manifest in our lives, and if you're always talking down to yourself and focusing on your perceived faults, these things can become your reality!

Breaking the habit of negative self talk can take a lot of practice, especially if you've been doing it for a long time. Often the best way to defeat negative self talk is with logic and reason. You need to explore your negative self talk, which is often easier and more effective when done through journaling. If you write it down you'll be able to look back on your journal entries later and benefit from them more than once.

The first step is to write down the negative things you're saying to or about yourself, and then examine if these are opinions or facts. Facts are things we have the power to change! For example, you might be prone to saying to yourself, "I'm fat," but does your Body Mass Index indicate that you are overweight? Once you know if the negative statement is a fact or an opinion you can move onto the next step.

If the negative statement is a fact, you need to ask yourself if there's a better way to look at it or say it. Instead of "I'm fat" you can say to yourself "I'm overweight," for example. After finding a healthier way to look at and say the fact, you need to explore what you can do to change it. If the negative statement is an opinion, you need to focus on the facts. For example, if your Body Mass Index indicates that you're a healthy weight (or even underweight) then the fact is actually "I feel fat," and you can start working to change that fact. (Sometimes it's a little harder to break down your negative self talk than in this example and it may take more than one step. If you say to yourself, "I'm not good enough" you need to break it down further by asking why you believe that.)

Once you have broken your negative self talk down to the facts, it's time to create an action plan for changing those facts. For example, if you are overweight you can plan a healthier diet and steps you can take to live a more active lifestyle. Your emotions, such as "I feel fat," are facts that can be more difficult to change than eating better and exercising more--but it can be done! Come up with a plan to change the facts and get to work on it. If you're actively working to change it, you can stop the negative self talk by reminding yourself that you're doing something about it.

When you've been in the habit of negative self talk for a long time, it will be even harder to break but it's important that you keep at it. By focusing on the facts and working to change them, you will improve your self talk, self esteem and confidence all at once! You'll feel a great deal better about yourself, plus your positivity will change your reality and help you manifest more positive and healthier things.

~*~Monica Who~*~

Make the Most of Your First Reading (with a new psychic or your first reading ever)

When you call a psychic for the first time, whether it's your first time ever getting a psychic reading or just your first time calling that specific reader, there are several things you can do to make the most of your reading. Although many readers make a strong connection with their callers after four to five minutes, the first two to three minutes are the most important to the caller. You will decide within the first few minutes if you should continue your session with the psychic you've chosen. It's very similar to reading a new book--if the first couple of pages are great, you will read the entire book, but if you find it difficult to "get into" you will put the book down and never look at it again.

The first thing you can do to make the most of your first reading is prepare yourself for the reading. You want to have a notepad handy to write down significant information the psychic relays to you, and before you call, you should write down the questions you want to ask. It is imperative that you ask the right questions in those first two to three minutes!! DO NOT ask if there's a new romantic partner coming into your life if you currently have your heart set on someone you already know! The better plan is to ask about your true heart's desire first and then you can ask if there is someone else you should keep your heart open to after you've learned what you really wanted to know.

You need to be mindful of the way you ask your questions as well. Very few readers will require any more than the first names of yourself and anyone you're inquiring about, so you don't need to give the psychic very much information. However, you must not give misleading or false information; this will practically GAURANTEE a dissatisfying reading! A client recently called me to ask why two psychics can give two vastly different readings. I began by explaining that we don't always connect with everyone and a reader that connects extremely well with her may not connect as well with her best friend, for example. As we continued to talk, she told me what she had asked the other reader. She began by asking the reader if she would ever get married and when. Next she asked, "Will it be the man I'm currently seeing?" That's where the reading went downhill. Of course the other reader answered no, because the caller was not currently seeing anyone! She was close friends with a man who she had her heart set on, but the way she asked the question was misleading and dishonest. She ended her call with that reader after only two minutes, but she could have had a wonderful, enlightening session if she'd only been mindful of the way she asked what she truly wanted to know.

The final thing you need to do to prepare for the reading is relax and take a few deep breaths. If you are agitated or anxious when you call, you may not get the best experience possible either. It is best to be calmed and relaxed, and in a private location free of distractions. The chances are you are going to be discussing personal and private matters with the psychic you've chosen, so do not call when you don't have the privacy needed. If you know that your children or pets tend to "act up" when you're on the telephone, it would be best to call when they are sleeping or otherwise engaged in other activities and less likely to require your immediate attention.

These tips will help you to make the most of the first few minutes with your chosen psychic. If you follow them you will have a much better chance of experiencing a strong connection with the psychic quickly and receiving the insight and guidance you really needed. When you have established this connection with the psychic, your follow up calls will also be more rewarding—and you can call in with a quick question and even less than desirable surroundings (but please do not call from your cell phone when you’re driving; pull over and be safe). However, if you don't have the necessary privacy and are forced to talk quietly, you run the risk of a poor experience with even your most trusted psychic advisor because if he or she cannot hear your question, it's extremely difficult to answer you!

Remember:

• have a notepad ready to write down important information
• write down the questions you want to ask, starting with the most important ones first
• ask your questions directly and honestly, without any misleading or false information
• be calm and relaxed
• make sure you have privacy and reduce possible distractions
• speak clearly so your psychic can hear you

~*~Monica Who~*~

10 Ways to Boost Your Psychic Abilities

We are spiritual beings and we are all born with innate psychic abilities. Many people learn to overlook these abilities as they become "conditioned" to see the world in mundane ways. Anyone can unlock their spiritual gifts and begin to harness the awesome energy of the spirit! Try these ten exercises to increase your own psychic abilities and unlock your true potential.

1. Whenever the telephone rings, close your eyes and visualize the person who is calling. Then pick up the phone and discover if you're right. Your accuracy will improve dramatically as you practice this exercise, and this exercise may help you develop your clairvoyant abilities in addition to intuition and precognition.

2. When you stand in line at the bank, tell yourself which teller will serve you. This exercise is similar to the first, but you can see your "target." This exercise helps you develop your intuition and your ability to psychically connect with others who are in close proximity.

3. When you watch a sporting event, tell yourself the outcome before the event begins. As you develop skill with this exercise, expand to predicting more statistics such as scores or top 5 placements in racing or judged events. This exercise helps you develop your intuition, precognition, and clairvoyance. Do not misuse this skill for personal gain, such as gambling, or you will likely lose your skill entirely.

4. Have a friend roll a dice. Begin by calling "even" or "odd" before the dice is thrown; your accuracy will increase with practice. Expand to call the number the dice will land on. This exercise helps you develop your intuition, precognition and clairvoyance (specifically your ability to see numbers).

5. Work with a friend and a standard deck of playing cards. Begin by predicting black or red, and then have your friend turn over the top card of the deck. Your accuracy will improve with practice. When your accuracy is 80% or greater, expand to predict the suit, and later, the number or face of the card as well. This exercise boosts your intuition, precognition, and clairvoyance (specifically colours and shapes).

6. When you're riding an elevator and another passenger joins you, tell yourself which button they'll press. This exercises helps you develop your intuition, precognition, clairvoyance (number recognition), telepathy, and your ability to connect with others psychically.

7. In the morning, write down the names of people you will have important interactions or communications with that day. Don't rely on logic. Clear your mind and allow faces or names to come to you naturally. Trust it and write it down. Using this exercise regularly will significantly improve your accuracy.

8. When in line at the movies, tell yourself which movie the person or group ahead of you will request (if you overhear them say it, try again another time!). This exercise helps you improve your intuition concerning the intentions, preferences and actions of others, and it can lead to developing telepathy and empathy.

9. When you have a meeting or appointment, tell yourself the colour of clothing the other person will be wearing before you meet. (This does not work for all people or situations. For example, you can reasonably assume a doctor will be wearing white, or you may know someone always wears a particular colour.) This exercise improves your clairvoyant abilities and could help you develop remote viewing skills as well.

10. Ask three friends a question (such as "what did you eat for breakfast?" or "where do you want to go on your next vacation?") Before you ask your questions, your friends must decide amongst themselves which one will answer falsely, and you must write down which friend will answer falsely. Then you ask your question and listen to each friend reply. Show them the name you wrote down before you asked the question. This exercise helps you develop intuition, precognition and can lead to developing telepathy. This skill is especially valuable in life; the ability to recognize deception and even predict it can make your life, and the lives of many others, much smoother.

~*~Monica Who~*~